Post 18 and 19 Explanation

I wrote "Sitting in the Park" as my double blog post because it had elements from a lot of the books we've read through out the semester. Through out the semester, we have read stories of girls getting raped, losing the people they love, growing up and reaching puberty, being betrayed or feeling helpless and this is what I tried to embody in my post. It is about a girl sitting in the park thinking about two moments of her life that changed her. The story itself is true, though from both my life and my sister's, the only things not completely true were the little details, which I got from the books. I tried to make it like "Mrs. Dalloway" by switching points of view from being a narrator, then to the thoughts of Jenna, and a brief moment of the thoughts of Jesse.

Sitting in the Park (18 and 19)

Jenna sat in the park, looking at the trees, the orange and red leaves falling to the ground, the green beauty of the grass and the bushes, watching the people run on the paved paths, following with her eyes the kids running around playing games, living carefree, it was so peaceful. "I wish life could always be this peaceful, this simple. My life hasn't been like this since I was a little kid. Ever since I lost my mom things have never been the same. I wish I could just stay here in the park and people watch for the rest of my life. It's so easy and there are no complications, unlike everything else I get myself into. I remember when things were easy, when I was a little girl. Seems like everything changed the moment I started 7th grade..." As she sat there thinking she remembered the first day of 7th grade, she had got her period during lunch and ran home at the first chance she had. "Oh No! This can't be happening. There's no way I'm getting my period already I'm only 12!" She ran down her street, passing the red, pink, blue, and green houses, spotting her house at the end of the street, it seemed so far away. No matter how fast she ran it seemed to be getting farther and farther away from her, everyone was staring at her; the little girl crying and running down the middle of the street. She finally got to her house and ran into her dad "Dad! I think I got my period today. I don't want it, I don't want to grow up!" He started laughing and hugged her, and called over her mother. "No. No. No! I can't believe he was calling my mom over she was going to start crying and never talk to me again because I was growing up. She always told me the day I got my period was the day she was going to stop talking to me, because that meant I was beginning to be a real teenager, and was going to start being a bitch like all of the other teenager girls she knew. I didn't want him to tell her I didn't want to lose my mom! I couldn't help but cry even harder as she came to me". To her surprise her "mom was very warm "Let's get you a pad" she said and took her to the bathroom (37 TMV). Her father later brought her a card saying, "To my little girl who isn't so little anymore" (35 TMV).

"That day did end up ending pretty well to my surprise, I told my mom about her shunning me and she said she would never do that, she was just joking when she said she would, thank god! I can’t imagine how I would have gotten through so many points in my life without my mother, she always knew the right things to say, at least until the day she actually did stop talking to me. I really do love my mom, and I miss her, I wish she could still be here with me today, but I don't want to think about that right now, it's my time to be in the park and relax... Though I remember the first time she talked to me about sex, that was the last time we talked... I can still remember the last thing I said to her "I feel as if I'm talking to a wall. I wish you'd answer. I feel so alone" (205 THT). I can't believe she stopped talking to me after I told her what happened with Jesse, especially after dad died. The only person I had was her, I miss her. She actually has shunned me now and I don't know what to do.  I dream about seeing her so much and having her actually talk to me. "I dream that I get out of bed and walk across the room. I'm at home and she's running to meet me, I begin to cry, because I know I'm not awake" (119 THT). Why do I always have these dreams, all they do is torture me? I wonder if she realizes how much harder she's making things for me... I can't stop thinking about that night and I wish I could just talk to her about it"

"Wow. My parents are gone for the night. I should definitely call Jenna. This could finally be my chance to sleep with her. Yes! Ok I'm going to call her. What should I say "Hey babe, do you want to have sex tonight" No I don't think that would go that well, the last time I was that blunt she said that "Men are sex machines, and not much more. They only want one thing" (153 THT). I learned my lesson from that one...Though, that was like a year ago, maybe she won't care as much now. Ok I'm going to call her"
"Huh, I wonder what Jesse is doing tonight, I'm so bored" She sat at her desk looking out the window, looking at her little brother and his friends play football in the street, running through all the leaves that kept falling through out the day, watching the trees blow in the wind wondering how they were playing football in the cold windy weather. "How is the football actually going in the direction they throw it? It's so windy out even the trees are moving... weird. Whatever... Ooh! Jesse! Yay! Maybe he's going to invite me over!" She talked to Derek and he wasn't as blunt but he wasn't very subtle either, she knew what he wanted but she was happy to go over she was bored and had nothing else to do. When she got to his house it was quiet, she stepped inside and went to his room. It was dark she couldn't see where he was. She then spotted him and he approached her. "Wow OK seems like he wants to get right down to the point. "He's undoing my dress, a man made of darkness." I like it though, it's almost mysterious, like being with a stranger "I can't see his face, and I can hardly breathe, hardly stand, his mouth is on me, his hands, I can't wait, love, it's been so long, my arms around him." (273 THT)
"That's the only part I like to think about, the rest of it didn't go as well... I wish he would have respected my wishes. I thought I was ready and was really enjoying being with him at first, but once things started to get more serious I changed my mind. I thought he would have been the kind of guy that would respect that, I mean we were together for 2 years. How hard is it to respect your girlfriend’s wishes? I really don't understand. I always sacrificed things for him; I did everything for him. Why couldn't he just do that one thing for me? OK Jenna, stop thinking about it, he was an ass hole, and this was almost 5 years ago you're OK now." 
Jenna sat in the park, looking at the trees, the orange and red leaves falling to the ground, the green beauty of the grass and the bushes, watching the people run on the paved paths, following with her eyes the kids running around playing games, living carefree, it was so peaceful. "This is my day to relax. Know more negative thoughts. I'll take a nap and enjoy the fresh air".

Piranha 3DD

This post is more of a rant than anything else, but it was something that I felt like writing about that goes along with what we've been reading this semester. While looking for a movie to watch today I stumbled upon a movie called Piranha 3DD. The two pictures  above are the poster covers for the movie. The first thing I would like to say about this is that my first impression when I saw this was to laugh, because I thought it was a joke. Since they came out with the movie Piranha 3D last year, I figured that they just made a fake movie poster with the 3DD that was making a sexual innuendo of the 3D version. Or that it was an actual movie but was rather, a parody of the rest of the piranha series. But I then discovered that this is an actual movie that came out a few weeks ago (it's not a parody) and that Piranha 3DD is the actual name and the pictures above are the actual covers. Wow. The second thing I would like to say is that when I discovered it was a real movie I was shocked that they would find it acceptable to name the movie this, as well as choose these as the covers. When you look at it it looks like it's going to be an adult movie (sexual rather than horror).  It reminded me of the beauty myth when I saw it, as the movie is about people getting eaten alive by piranhas yet they have found a way to sexualize that idea. This is around the 5th piranha movie that's been made (and there all exactly the same) and I couldn't believe that they actually decided to name it this. I do understand where they got the idea for the title, as the movie is a continuation of Piranha 3D, but I think the typical Piranha 3D 2 would have been just as sufficient. I don't know, it's just interesting to me that the movie business have started to use woman to sell their movies. It reminds me of the whole controversy that went on with Keira Knightly and the movie cover for King Arthur. Below is the picture of Keira on the movie poster. The first picture is the original photo and the second one is the photo shopped version. Keira is already very beautiful and many people love her, I'm pretty sure the movie would have sold just as well if they hadn't photo shopped her boobs to be bigger on the cover. Though, society and the media don't seem to think that I guess.

Man VS. Woman

Reading the article "Social Animal" by David Brooks I realized that there is such a difference between men and women culturally and genetically. Brook says, "For some reason, today's high status men do a lot of running and biking and so only really work on the muscles in the lower half of their bodies. High status women, on the other hand, pay ferocious attention to their torsos, biceps, and forearms so they can wear sleeveless dresses all summer and crush rocks with their bare hands. (2) I find it interesting that they are doing the complete opposite of each other. To be honest I would think it was the other way around. You would think men would be the one's working on their biceps and torsos so that appear strong and intimidating and woman would work more on their lower halves, especially because nice legs are so important to most woman. We all want our legs to look nice when were wearing shorts, or a skirt. Which most powerful woman seem to wear a lot, more than sleeveless shirts and dresses. Another thing that I would think to be the opposite of stated is the fact that "men fall in love faster and are more likely to believe that true love lasts forever" (7). As society has developed, and as I have grown up I have never heard much about the men being the ones to fall in love first or for them to believe in true love at all really. Society has made it for men to almost look down on true love and avoid it. In movies if a guy truly falls for a girl he gets made fun of by his friends rather than praised. Yet, when a girl truly falls for a guy and is in love her and her friends start jumping around and they go out to celebrate. It's weird that so many topics are generalized and the way we make them out to be is actually the opposite of what it truly is. 

Another difference stated in the article was when Brooks was talking about how men and women choose their mates. And the psychology behind it that we don't even realize. He says, "Woman everywhere tend to prefer men who have symmetrical features and are slightly older, taller, and stronger than they are" (5) and woman are "compelled to choose a man not only for insemination but for continued support" (6). Where as "Men could pick their mates based on fertility" and "he liked what he saw, from the waist-to-hip ratio to the clear skin, all indicative of health and fertility" (5) Men psychologically want a girl that appears healthy and fertile and woman psychologically want a man who is strong and supportive. And know matter how much one denies it, it is usually always the truth. It is something in our brain that we can't control, that's what psychology is. I find it interesting that these type of things are genetically planted into our brains. It also said in the article that a woman "rejected men who wore Burberry, because she couldn't see herself looking at the same patter on scarves and raincoats for the rest of her life" (6) and "She would have nothing to do with men who wore sports-related jewelery, because her boyfriend should not love Derek Jeter more than her.  (6)  This I do understand because it is something that we develop over time and realize for ourselves. You use your past experiences and knowledge to learn what you want and don't want. However, those are only the material things and we can only control that aspect. We can't control what first attracts us to someone, which never ceases to amaze me.

Happiness

I recently read an article called Social Animal by David Brooks, and it has a lot of very interesting concepts in it. One idea that was prevalent was happiness and how many people make their path of happiness unconsciously and use their past experiences. As David Brooks says, "Early experiences don't determine a life, but they set pathways, which can be changed or reinforced by later experiences" (pg 3). Experiences are the little things that help us go through the right "door". We try to use our experiences to make a path for ourselves that will make us happy, and will have us content with our life. This is all done within our subconscious and in our inner thoughts. "What the inner mind really wants is connection" and "daily activities most closely associated with happiness are social"(pg 5). Everyone wants to be happy and out mind and body make decisions for us without us even knowing or thinking about it. In a short scenario about a couple on their first date it says they "licked their lips, leaned forward in their chairs, glanced at each other out of the concerns of their eyes, and performed all the other tricks of unconscious choreography that people do while flirting" (pg 7). They were both showing signs of flirting and the fact that they liked each other, yet they didn't know it was happening. In the article it says "There was the hair flip: she raised her arms to adjust her hair and heaved her chest into view. She would have been appalled if she had seen herself in a mirror at that moment" (pg 7.) The fact that our body language tells a story without us even knowing is amazing. "When the tip of the eyebrow dips, that means the smile is genuine" (pg 5). There is no way to hide our feelings know matter how we try. Our body and mind know what makes us happy and will do anything to keep us following the right pathway. We can only ignore what our inner thoughts and body language say, but we can never deny the truth. We can only listen to our subconscious and embrace what we are being told. After all "the conscious mind chooses what we buy, but the unconscious mind chooses what we like" (pg 11.)

Insults

After finishing The Vagina Monologues and thinking about the book I realized that there are so many insults incorporated with girls. For example with the name "twat", so many people use that as an insult as well as the word "pussy". These are both nicknames for a vagina, yet they are both used as insults towards people. It's interesting how a part of the female anatomy can also be used as an insult toward someone and it's totally acceptable and normal. And the best part is if someone does call you a pussy or a twat it's a huge insult. Yet, if you called someone a vagina they would be like "what, what does that even mean?".  Yet in reality it's the same exact thing.
There are many different names that are insults that all have to do things with woman. Another example of a really common one is douche or "douchebag". I don't even know how this started to become something normal to call someone but technically a douche is a cleaning product for a girl. Yet when someone (usually a guy) is being rude or annoying he is called a douche and is said to be acting "douchey". The fact that you can actually describe someone as being a douche is just interesting to me.  Someone can say, "Yea, I used to like him but now he's a complete douchebag" and everyone will understand what they mean. It never ceases to amaze me how many of words incorporated with woman have become insults and well known ones.
You can also call someone and girl and have that be offensive. Obviously if you call a guy a girl he will get offended but the reasoning behind calling him a girl intrigues me. Someone would call a guy a girl if he jumps when he sees a spider run across the room, or if he

"My Vagina's Angry"

In the second reading for The Vagina Monolgues there was a chapter called " My Angry Vagina". The entire chapter is pretty much about all of the things women have to go through as they get older. Visits to the hospital, periods, and cleaning products. I liked this chapter because it made me laugh, and reminded me of some conversations I've had with both friends and my mom over the years. When we were younger we used to make fun of all these things.
My favorite line of the chapter is when she is talking about tampons and says, "You need to engage my vagina's trust. You can't do that with a dry wad of fucking cotton" (70). I remember when I was 9 my brother and I found a tampon and we took it out of the applicator and put it under running water. We were both shocked and confused on how it worked and how exactly girls were supposed to use them. I was terrified and told myself when I was old enough I would never use it because it was creepy. 
Then 7th grade happened and the whole calling people a "douche" became popular. Most people don't even know what a douche is they just know it's an insult to call someone. I asked my mom what a douche was and all she said was "it's something you use to clean yourself",  she couldn't have been more vague; I was more confused then I was before asking her. As I got older I realized what they actually were and what they were used for and I was confused. The entirety of the douche was just weird to me. Like she says in the book "Stop shoving and stop it up. My vagina doesn't need to be cleaned up" (70). We always learned in class not to use douches or other things like them because it was bad, and disrupted the bodies natural cleaning process. Yet, it's something that a lot of woman use and continue to use through out their lives.
Lastly, there's the doctors appointments. Uncomfortable and awkward are two words that come to my mind. Like she says, "Then there's those exams. Why the scary paper dress...Why the rubber gloves?...why the Nazi stirrups, the mean cold duck lips?" (71). They're just not fun. Every girl dreads the day she has to go to the doctor to get her "check-up". Although, it is something that we all have to do I find it interesting that there actually isn't anything they do to make a little bit easier. Like she says in the book "Why can't they find some nice, delicious purple velvet and wrap it around me, lay me down on some feathery cotton spread, put on some nice pink or blue gloves, and rest my feet in some fur-covered stirrups? Warm up the duck lips" (72). I mean, I don't think they should go over board and do all of the things that she says but some of it couldn't hurt.
There are some good points in this chapter and I liked it because I think most people can relate to a lot of the things that Ensler says and have similar views.

The Vagina Monologues

I am now reading the Vagina Monologues in my English class, and I love it. It's really interesting and brings up so many good points. Being a girl I can relate to some of the things that are stated, as well as knowing other girls who have said similar things to whats in the book. My favorite sections of the book so far are the lists of what people would have their vaginas say, wear, and be called, and the description of the word and what it sounds like.
A few of the things vaginas would say if they talked were "Feed me" "Whoah, Mama" "Where's Brian" "Bonjour" and a few things they would wear are "A beret" "A pink boa" "An evening gown" "Glasses" "Sweatpants" and "Cotton" (16-21). The list is much longer and I find all of them funny and they each have their own personality. You can tell a little bit about the girl who said them just from what they would want their vaginas to say or wear. My favorite excerpt from the entire book so far is "Let's start with the word "vagina". It sound like an infection at best, maybe a medical instrument. Doesn't matter how many times you say it, it never sound like a word you want to say. If you use it during sex, trying to be politically correct --- "Darling, could you stroke my vagina?"--- you kill the act" (5). I laughed so hard when I read this because it's true. I know so many people that refuse to say the word vagina just because it's awkward and feels inappropriate, yet they'll say other words that are far more vulgar. It's just a weird word in general. Even I feel awkward saying it around certain people just because the surprised expression on their faces, and the feeling you get because you don't know how certain people will react. There are so many different slang words that people say to express it and some of them are almost offensive yet it's become the norm and it's hard for people to go back. There are a few examples of slang words in the book as well, such as "twat" "pussycat" "nappy dugout" "tamale" "schmende" "monkey box" and "poonani" (6). I mean I'm not sure which one I would rather say "Darling, could stroke my vagina" or "Darling, could you stroke my monkey box". I think the surprised and confused expression on the guy's face would be priceless if you actually said "stroke my monkey box". Yet I guarantee so many people would rather say that than vagina.

Dieting

In The Beauty Myth it says "in 1985 90% of woman thing they weight too much" and "On any day 25% of woman are on diets, with 50% finishing, breaking, or starting one" (pg. 185). I asked 10 of my family and friends if they were comfortable with their weight and only 2 of them said yes. Three of them are on diets, two of them work out regularly and are trying to eat healthier, one is on the brink of anorexia, and the other two that are unhappy with their weight don't really do anything but complain about it. Six out out of the eight people that are discontent with their bodies are on diets and that number changes almost everyday. The first three go on diets, then break the diet, then start a new diet, then give up, then start up again. The two that work out regularly and eat healthy do work out regularly but can never keep up with a diet, it's always the "I'll start tomorrow" or the "today's my last day I swear" speech. And then there's the one friend who is almost anorexic with the 30 different daily diets shes on. It's interesting how out of six people who are on diets none of them can really keep them, and some of them have actually gotten worse since they started dieting and have risked their mental health.

I find it really interesting that dieting in The Beauty Myth has become such a negative thing yet in reality there are numerous of different types of dieting. If there is an obese or slightly overweight person and they come to you and say "I'm starting this new diet in a few days", the common reaction is "Oh good for you!" or "Good luck I hope it goes well". Where as, if a thin person comes up to you and says. "I'm starting this new diet in a few days" the common reaction is  "WHY!?" or "but you're already so skinny". Yet neither one of them actually said what kind of diet they're going on. The obese person could be going on a diet where they only eat once or twice a day or are cutting out nutritious foods that people need to stay healthy, and the thin person could just be cutting out chocolate and soda They are both going on completely different diets, one much more dangerous than the other. Yet, we perceive dieting as one thing, depending on the person who is doing it and don't actually realize the difference. Many people tend to jump to conclusions though because of the person that says they are doing the dieting and I think that has something to do with the way media and society has made many people view dieting.

Cosmopolitan Part 3

Throughout reading the Beauty Myth and watching the movie Killing us Softly 4, I have found another connection between both of these and magazines. In the Beauty Myth it says "woman are allowed a mind or a body but just not both" and with stereotypes in our society there is "beauty-without-intelligence or intelligence-without-beauty" (pg. 59). Kean Kilbourne then goes on to say in her video that in many magazines when intelligence is being displayed it is portrayed in the magazine as ugly. The picture of the woman withholding the intelligence is usually wearing glasses, has no make-up on, and is wearing plain and boring clothing. It is made to look like she has no substance and beauty just because she is smart. Along with a lot of other things in magazines I notice these things but don't really take a second look, but after watching Killing us Softly it has given me a new perspective on things. I also came to realize that it is exactly the same in movies. There are movies where there is a smart girl who again like in the magazines wears no make-up, dresses poorly, and usually has her hair all messy and tied up and she gets a make-over. They put her in more feminine clothes, make her hair look nice, and put on a lot of make-up and then all of a sudden she is the most popular girl and all the guys are looking at her. Then when she starts meeting guys and talking to them if she ever says anything smart the guys give her a weird look and seem turned off, so she says something stupid and they're happy again. I can name numerous movies where this happens and it's crazy that society and the media has started to make intelligence seem unattractive and boring and stupidity as sexy and beautiful. When in reality a lot of men actually look for a girl who has a brain and that they can have a real conversation with. Many girls actually dress up and take on the intelligent role, for example as the sexy librarian or the classic school girl, and men love it. I asked a few guys I know why they find the dressing up so appealing and they all said pretty much the same thing. One reason they like it is because she adds an edgy and more seductive side to the intelligence aspect of women. Another reason is because they have a woman they find attractive beforehand, and when she puts on the role of a intelligent woman they have the ultimate package, a beautiful and attractive intelligent woman. I find it interesting that they want the smarts and the good looks however, in movies and magazines and books men are made out to not like both. They either want an intelligent woman or a "beautiful" woman, yet most guys (not all) want a little bit of both not either or. It's sad that the movies and the media make everything out to be different than it really is, it slowly starts to get women to believe it and starts to get a lot of men to believe that's the way they should view girls. It's a lose-lose for everyone really.

Cosmopolitan Part 2

Continuing from my last post about the magazine I found it interesting that in The Beauty Myth it also talked about models and how "the weight of fashion models  plummeted to 23 percent below that of ordinary women and eating disorders rose exponentially" (pg. 11). We actually watched a movie in my English class the other day Killing us Softly 4 and the creator of the film Kean Kilbourne said "They are starting to not use models that are to thin, and some magazines don't use professional models they just use average people". My school newspaper actually wrote an article a few months ago about how common anorexia and bulimia are in my school, and how there are far more people that we would have suspected to be suffering from one of them. One of my best friends was anorexic a few years ago and has forever been scared and obsessed with losing weight and watching what she eats. She has been on multiple diets in the past year and has gone from eating eggs, salads, and rice to eating nothing but fruits and vegetables. She reads things like Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, Vogue, Woman's Fitness and much more and really takes to heart a lot of what she sees in the magazines. There is a line in the Beauty Myth that reminds me of her, "woman would rather lose ten to fifteen pounds than achieve any other goal" (pg. 10). She constantly looks on the internet to find pictures of the body she wants and continues to pick on herself on a daily basis. She is one of those people who have come subdued by the concept of "thinspiration", and it has really become the only thing she thinks about. I have become her support system, and even though I don't mind being there for her and helping her out it's almost an overwhelming task on my part and she has slowly made life harder for both her and me. I've never really been one of those people that envies the models in magazines and actually takes to heart a lot of advertisements out there. But it gets harder and harder not to look at those things when I am with someone everyday that obsesses over it and constantly talks about losing weight and her eating habits.
I feel like at this point I have lost my friend to the media and there is no way of getting her back.

Cosmopolitan Vs. The Beauty Myth

On the plane last weekend coming home from a school trip I was sitting next to one of my teachers reading a Cosmopolitan magazine. I tend to pick up a Cosmo whenever I travel but I don't even read half of whats actually in the magazine, I more just flip through the pages and read the few things that pop out and seem interesting. My teacher looked over and started laughing when he realized it was a Cosmo and made a sly comment. When I was done reading the Cosmo I put it away and took out the book I am now reading for my English class, The Beauty Myth. My teacher then looked over and me again, started laughing, and said "Only a teenager would go from reading a Cosmopolitan to the Beauty Myth". I had no idea what he was talking about or what he meant about that since I hadn't even opened the book yet and had absolutely no idea what it was about. Once started to read it, on the first page there was the line "Many are so ashamed to admit that such trivial concerns- to do with physical appearance, bodies, faces, hair, clothes- matter so much" (pg 9). After reading that line I knew exactly what my teacher was talking about. That line made me think of the Cosmo and I realized that that is what the entire magazine is about. The magazine has pages about fashion, make-up, hair products, sex, workout methods etc. The entire magazine is about what the book is trying to say has become so important in our society and something that a lot of people have become obsessed with such trivial things. I found it very interesting that my teacher made the comment because I would have never have put two and two together on my own, to me I just went from a little bit of entertaining light reading to something I  have to read for my English class. After getting further into the Beauty Myth it made me realize that I have become like many people who obsess and think about all the trivial things that don't really matter just because it's what I read about, talk about with friends and family, and am surrounded with. Being in high school all these little things are taken way out of proportion and become our worst enemies, unless we can get everything perfect. We can never be perfect though, so all of us are always worrying and obsessing over one little thing that in reality doesn't really matter. And to think about it we can't even do anything about half of the things we concern ourselves with no matter how much we try. It's just another stress in our life that we put on ourselves and it could easily be taken away if we took a step back and realized how unimportant everything really is.

Leap of Faith

As junior year is ending and college is getting closer and closer I have started to realize that I am going to have to start doing many things on my own. Once I leave I will have to get a job, find an apartment, get a car, keep up with school work, maintain my social life etc. Sadly we can't exactly prepare yourself for the big step of adulthood and finally taking the leap of faith and leaving our parents. Of course some people can handle it better than others, and some people leave earlier than others. Although, sometimes it can be a bit of a shock for many of us and we might not be able to keep ourselves together and do what we need to do. In Jasmine, one of the characters Darrel is described as "looking lost these days, like a little boy" (7). He has just gotten the major responsibility of taking control of his fathers farm after he had passed away and hasn't been able to handle it well. Granted I was talking about going to college and taking the leap of faith, which is something you can prepare for. However, having a parent pass away and out of no where not be there any more is definitely something that no one can prepare themselves for. I have known a few people in my life which parents that are no longer here and some have taken everything well and moved on with their lives, and some have completely shut down and haven't been able to put themselves back together. It is hard to be on your own no matter what your age. I know people who are 16 who can take better care of themselves than some 30 year old's, it all depends on your past and the ability you have to make the best out of the situation you are put into and do what you can. It is also hard sometimes to keep your head on straight when they are people constantly pointing out your mistakes and bringing you down rather than encouraging you and helping you out.  During a conversation between Darrel and Bud "Bud almost snapped Darrel's head off" (11). He was judging the little things that he was doing and was not helping the young boy figure everything out with the 100 acres of land he suddenly has and has to take care of. The next time the main character sees Darrel his "eyes are red and unfocused and he unsteady on his feet" (22). He had been drinking to ease his thoughts about the situation he has been forced into "since his father died he's had not time for fun. No dates, no movies, not vacation weekends (23). Darrel has lost some years of his youth and is goig through a rough patch and because he is not getting the support he needs from someone like Bud who he seems to look up to, he doesn't know how to handle his new situation and has started going down the wrong path. My only hope for myself and other people that are freshman in college will have the support that they need and will be able to stir themselves on the right path and stray away from the rocky roads many people have driven themselves onto without even knowing it.

Moving

In Jasmine there is a lot of talk about immigration, being a foreigner, and moving around. I have been moving around the world since I was 5 and know how difficult and challenging it can be to enter a new town, community, and culture. Of course some places are easier than others to adjust to but there are many places that you always feel like an outsider and know matter how had you try, you can't fit in. In Jasmine one of the characters is talking about the Mexican Immigrants in America and says "I don't think they're bad people, you know. It's just that there's too many of them" (27). The character says herself that she doesn't think that the Mexicans are bad people and there is nothing wrong with them being around, but basically at some point enough is enough. It reminds me of when I used to live in Japan. There are a lot of US military bases through out Japan and most of the Japanese people are very friendly to the Americans because as the character from my book said were not bad people. I had a lot of Japanese friends though and they pretty much told me the same thing, that there is nothing wrong with the military soldiers that are living through out Japan and there very nice people but sometimes it seems like they are taking over certain parts of the city. I obviously don't know how things were before the military bases were made and how life used to be for the indigenous people, but I can imagine that things may have changed drastically since America gained control over certain parts of the country.
The main character of the book says "The border's like Swiss cheese and all the mice are squirming through the holes" (28). This brings me back to the earlier quote that so many people are trying to get to America that it seems like America naturally is the Swiss Cheese and everyone who is trying to come in either illegally or legally are the little mice and are just trying to find the spot of the "cheese" that is right for them. Through out my years of traveling I have always wondered the two different views between the commoners in a city and the tourists. Not really having a place to call home I don't exactly know what it is like to be a commoner but I know much about being a tourist. I liked these two passages from the book because it seemed to give a little perspective from the commoner and it's nice to be able to see a different side for a change.

Judging

In "The Handmaid's Tale" the two main characters of the book go to a "club" that has been secretly created in the society. At the club all of the men are in suits and all of the women are dressed in "outfits with feathers and glister, cut high up the thighs, low over the breasts" (246). We discussed in my English class if the women wearing the outfits make them empowering or if it is degrading. I think that in today's society wearing outfits like this can both me empowering and degrading depending on the context of the outfit and the women's reasoning for wearing it. For example, if you are wearing lingerie for your partner as a sensual gesture then some might say that the woman is in power, and is controlling the situation creating a scenario for her and her partner. Where as if you are wearing an outfit like that at a club some might find the woman very slutty or attention seeking, and others might just think she got really dressed up for the occasion and is comfortable enough with herself to wear such a promiscuous outfit out on the town. Although, in my opinion it always tends to be the woman judging and saying how she is such a slut rather than the men. In our society today, girls dress up for girls and we are always judging each other and making each other feel bad or not good enough. You would think that it would be the other way around and the men would be the ones judging and us girls would stand up for one another and try to defend each other. I wish the world were actually like this and it wasn't such a "girl eat girl" world. I mean don't get me wrong of course there are the men in the club that are judging what the girl is wearing and could be calling her even worse names than other girls do, but it is more of a common aspect between girls to bash on each other rather than men bagging on girls.
In the Handmaid's Tale almost all of the judging within the book comes with in the females. Mainly between the Marthas, Wives, and Handmaid's. Offred says "Nobody dies from lack of sex. It's the lack of love we die from" and "there's nobody here I can love, all the people I could love are dead or elsewhere" (113.) After reading this passage it made me think about how clearly most of the women in the book feel the same way, and seek to have that attention that they once had when life was "normal". However, even though they are all feeling the same and are going through the same thing they don't help each other out and instead take on the role they are assigned and judge each other based on their political role and the color of the dress they are wearing.
In the perfect world, since all of these women are assigned their roles and don't have much choice in who they become, you would think that it would either be each girl of herself or everyone girl for every girl. All of them know that they are only doing what they are told, and if it were up to them they would turn things around immediately.  However, there is nothing that they can do but abide by the rules and fulfill their duties.

Body Image and Sex

In my English class we are reading this books called "The Handmaid's Tale". A very large portion of the book is about sex and the entire point of the society in the book is about sexual reproduction and having babies. However, it is not a very romantic book and despite the amount of pleasure you would think all the characters have for being in this kind of society, the lack of pleasure, love, and companionship is abysmal. Sex has lost the aura that it has today, and has become an act of living and sustaining the human race rather than showing an amount of intimacy between people. In the book, they don't exactly go about sex in the same way as today either. It is an embarrassing and emotionless act between two people who have absolutely no feelings for each other, they both do their "duty" and leave. The main character in the novel Offred talks about her lack of self image, and how she doesn't even like looking at her naked body when she is bathing anymore because it has become shameful and taboo. She doesn't understand how in her previous life she was able to wear bikinis and actually show some skin. It reminds me of many girls today and how they are embarrassed of their bodies and develop eating disorders to achieve their idea of their "perfect" body. I have known so many people that have done many terrible things to themselves and have risked their health just to be able to fit in with society. Although, in the book they are not entirely trying to fit in with society rather being forced, they definitely have the aspect of being the best they can be and trying to be happy with who they are in some form.

Identity

Relationships do not exist in the book in "The Handmaid's Tale". There are not allowed to be friendships between the women in the society and each woman is assigned a role. In your role you do what is asked of you, and mind your own business. Even though there are marriages and mistresses, they are all formulated by the society and none of them are chosen because the actual feelings of the individuals in the society. It is a like a big movie production, everyone is assigned a role and expected to put on a mask,  act as best they can and make the director happy. Except in the book, when they put on their mask they never take it off. They also put on more than a mask they are assigned colors for who they are supposed to be. In the beginning of the book Offred is getting dressed and she has her "red gloves, red shoes, red cloak, and red dress" (18-19). With the mask on and the clothing with a specific color there is a name and a new identity that they are forced to follow. There are many people who put on masks even in our society and do as they are told and try to make everyone happy, when in reality they are depressed and unhappy themselves. Society is cruel and I would do anything to change how people think of each other, and stop the immense amount of judging that happens. A lot of judging in society isn't even about who people truly are it is about what they look like on the outside and what they pretend to be. Similarly to the handmaids tale when Offred says " the frown isn't personal; it's the red dress she disapproves of , and what is stands for" (20).  In this new society all of the women are judged on the color that they wear and the role that they have been assigned rather than who they truly are. Sadly are society is exactly the same in many ways, although we don't have specific colors that define who we are politically we do wear the clothes that we like and sometimes define our personality and many people base their opinions off of first glances and clothes tend to be something that is judged and talked about among everyone. I have to admit that I can look at what someone is wearing and make a comment about it, and after thinking about it and reading this book it puts things into perspective and I've learned not to judge other people from the outside and base my opinions on their personality and what I actually know about them.
I was at a restaurant the other night and I saw a guy with a tattoo on his arm that said "Only God Can Judge Me". I have never been able to forget that tatoo and I think it should be told to everyone, and maybe some people will change they way they view other people and stick to their own business. Another quote I've heard and never forgotten is "It's my life. Remember that when you talk about it". I love this quote and can't even express how true it really is and how much people need to realize how gossip and judging has no good outcome for anyone, let alone themselves or they people they are talking about.

If men could menstruate

       I read a piece today in my English class that I found rather interesting. It is called "If men could menstruate". The title itself made me laugh and I was very curious as to what it was going to say in the article. In the article it says "Clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, worthy, masculine event" and "Young boys would talk about it as the envied beginning of manhood. Gifts, religious cereomonies, family diner, and stag parties would mark the day."(Steinem). I agree with this article and find it rather amusing. Although, I think it's kind of ironic. Whenever girls bring up their period around guys, they always get the same expression on their face, the "can we please change the topic" face. Yet, according to the article if it were to happen to them it would be a non-stop conversation starter and girls would be the ones with the "please change the topic" faces. Except for our looks wouldn't be in disgust rather just pure boredom and wish that they would hit puberty a few years later and delay the "gift" of menstruation. I find it interesting that something so natural and just part of being a human being would be completely altered in point of view just because of the gender it happens to. This is most definitely a very opinionated topic and many people will agree with the article and many people will think it is complete nonsense and a little over dramatic. I think it exaggerates a tad, but in the end if men were the ones to menstruate I think I would definitely be viewed differently between the common person and wouldn't be as awkward of a topic as many people find it today.
         I asked some of guys in my family what they would do if they were the ones to get their periods instead of girls and got quite the interesting answers.  My cousin Shawn said "I would find the closest magnum and gently put it up to my chin and pull the trigger". Anthony said "It wouldn't be that big of a deal. I mean it would suck but I think it would be more laid back and not so taboo. I'm not that sure about the stag party and family events because we get it. That's just a little weird". And last my Uncle said "It would be so much better that way. Guys don't get to make a big deal out of little things as much as girls, so we wouldn't have to deal with the complaining as much", and my step dad said "It wouldn't be that big of deal anymore, you could talk about it in public without getting weird stares from strangers. I don't think people would think twice about it".
Obviously it is a matter of opinion, Shawn saying he would kill himself, Anthony and my step dad saying it wouldn't make a difference, and my uncle saying that it would be better that way.
Although, the answers would be different it society was brought up with men being the "lucky" ones rather than girls their opinion would change very much and girls might be the ones saying that it would be better if we had it so we didn't have to listen to the men complain, or we would rather kill ourselves like my cousin Shawn.
    

The End of Men vs. Not the End of Men

I found the articles very interesting and they brought to my attention something I never thought much about before. It's Not the End of Men seemed to be an article that was simply stating facts and showing that even though there are some stereotypes out there between women and men they shouldn't always be followed. The End of Men was contradicting with in itself and it seemed like the author was trying to prove her point but wasn't entirely clear how to go about it. She used stereotypes a lot; she wasn't presenting her case with facts. She then proceeded a few times to contradict herself, which didn't exactly help her convince readers her point of view and fully understand what she was trying to say. I do agree that women have been rising in society lately, and we have been taking more of a charge in our lives to achieve what we think is success, but that doesn't mean that because women are rising men have to fall. There are still lot's of careers that are majority filled with men and there has been little evidence to show that those career fields are slowly being taken over by women. During a discussion with someone in my class they said "most people tend to ask, oh what does your dad do rather than what does your mom do or what do your parents do". I personally have experienced this more times that I can count and have answered in many different ways. I move around a lot and people always ask me "What does your dad do that you guys move around all the time?". Because I live with mom, not my dad and she is the one that has a strong career and is making a good life for both me and her I have responded in a various amount of ways. Sometimes I feel weird saying "oh it's my mom job actually" so I usually tend to say either "Yea i'm not really sure, something with the government" or i'll refer to my mom as a he so i don't have to explain that it's actually my mom not my dad. People tend to get throw back and have that weird moment of silence when I say it is my mom that works with the government and works with the military, rather than my father. Because of this I have to disagree with the author of The End of Men because in my experience men still seem to be the leaders of the work force and the people we look forward to. I do agree that there are many jobs, such as nursing and child care that are definitely women dominant but that's only a fair few of the thousands of jobs available in America.
I think it would be interesting to take points from both of these articles and put them into one formulated articles that actually states both facts and stereotype and has a very clear and valid point. Doing research on this topic and getting actual numbers and data to support or disprove what these authors state in their pieces would be a very successful task for any writer, and I hope to come across an article one day that actually does have evidence to support their thoughts about women and men in the work force.