Post 18 and 19 Explanation

I wrote "Sitting in the Park" as my double blog post because it had elements from a lot of the books we've read through out the semester. Through out the semester, we have read stories of girls getting raped, losing the people they love, growing up and reaching puberty, being betrayed or feeling helpless and this is what I tried to embody in my post. It is about a girl sitting in the park thinking about two moments of her life that changed her. The story itself is true, though from both my life and my sister's, the only things not completely true were the little details, which I got from the books. I tried to make it like "Mrs. Dalloway" by switching points of view from being a narrator, then to the thoughts of Jenna, and a brief moment of the thoughts of Jesse.

Sitting in the Park (18 and 19)

Jenna sat in the park, looking at the trees, the orange and red leaves falling to the ground, the green beauty of the grass and the bushes, watching the people run on the paved paths, following with her eyes the kids running around playing games, living carefree, it was so peaceful. "I wish life could always be this peaceful, this simple. My life hasn't been like this since I was a little kid. Ever since I lost my mom things have never been the same. I wish I could just stay here in the park and people watch for the rest of my life. It's so easy and there are no complications, unlike everything else I get myself into. I remember when things were easy, when I was a little girl. Seems like everything changed the moment I started 7th grade..." As she sat there thinking she remembered the first day of 7th grade, she had got her period during lunch and ran home at the first chance she had. "Oh No! This can't be happening. There's no way I'm getting my period already I'm only 12!" She ran down her street, passing the red, pink, blue, and green houses, spotting her house at the end of the street, it seemed so far away. No matter how fast she ran it seemed to be getting farther and farther away from her, everyone was staring at her; the little girl crying and running down the middle of the street. She finally got to her house and ran into her dad "Dad! I think I got my period today. I don't want it, I don't want to grow up!" He started laughing and hugged her, and called over her mother. "No. No. No! I can't believe he was calling my mom over she was going to start crying and never talk to me again because I was growing up. She always told me the day I got my period was the day she was going to stop talking to me, because that meant I was beginning to be a real teenager, and was going to start being a bitch like all of the other teenager girls she knew. I didn't want him to tell her I didn't want to lose my mom! I couldn't help but cry even harder as she came to me". To her surprise her "mom was very warm "Let's get you a pad" she said and took her to the bathroom (37 TMV). Her father later brought her a card saying, "To my little girl who isn't so little anymore" (35 TMV).

"That day did end up ending pretty well to my surprise, I told my mom about her shunning me and she said she would never do that, she was just joking when she said she would, thank god! I can’t imagine how I would have gotten through so many points in my life without my mother, she always knew the right things to say, at least until the day she actually did stop talking to me. I really do love my mom, and I miss her, I wish she could still be here with me today, but I don't want to think about that right now, it's my time to be in the park and relax... Though I remember the first time she talked to me about sex, that was the last time we talked... I can still remember the last thing I said to her "I feel as if I'm talking to a wall. I wish you'd answer. I feel so alone" (205 THT). I can't believe she stopped talking to me after I told her what happened with Jesse, especially after dad died. The only person I had was her, I miss her. She actually has shunned me now and I don't know what to do.  I dream about seeing her so much and having her actually talk to me. "I dream that I get out of bed and walk across the room. I'm at home and she's running to meet me, I begin to cry, because I know I'm not awake" (119 THT). Why do I always have these dreams, all they do is torture me? I wonder if she realizes how much harder she's making things for me... I can't stop thinking about that night and I wish I could just talk to her about it"

"Wow. My parents are gone for the night. I should definitely call Jenna. This could finally be my chance to sleep with her. Yes! Ok I'm going to call her. What should I say "Hey babe, do you want to have sex tonight" No I don't think that would go that well, the last time I was that blunt she said that "Men are sex machines, and not much more. They only want one thing" (153 THT). I learned my lesson from that one...Though, that was like a year ago, maybe she won't care as much now. Ok I'm going to call her"
"Huh, I wonder what Jesse is doing tonight, I'm so bored" She sat at her desk looking out the window, looking at her little brother and his friends play football in the street, running through all the leaves that kept falling through out the day, watching the trees blow in the wind wondering how they were playing football in the cold windy weather. "How is the football actually going in the direction they throw it? It's so windy out even the trees are moving... weird. Whatever... Ooh! Jesse! Yay! Maybe he's going to invite me over!" She talked to Derek and he wasn't as blunt but he wasn't very subtle either, she knew what he wanted but she was happy to go over she was bored and had nothing else to do. When she got to his house it was quiet, she stepped inside and went to his room. It was dark she couldn't see where he was. She then spotted him and he approached her. "Wow OK seems like he wants to get right down to the point. "He's undoing my dress, a man made of darkness." I like it though, it's almost mysterious, like being with a stranger "I can't see his face, and I can hardly breathe, hardly stand, his mouth is on me, his hands, I can't wait, love, it's been so long, my arms around him." (273 THT)
"That's the only part I like to think about, the rest of it didn't go as well... I wish he would have respected my wishes. I thought I was ready and was really enjoying being with him at first, but once things started to get more serious I changed my mind. I thought he would have been the kind of guy that would respect that, I mean we were together for 2 years. How hard is it to respect your girlfriend’s wishes? I really don't understand. I always sacrificed things for him; I did everything for him. Why couldn't he just do that one thing for me? OK Jenna, stop thinking about it, he was an ass hole, and this was almost 5 years ago you're OK now." 
Jenna sat in the park, looking at the trees, the orange and red leaves falling to the ground, the green beauty of the grass and the bushes, watching the people run on the paved paths, following with her eyes the kids running around playing games, living carefree, it was so peaceful. "This is my day to relax. Know more negative thoughts. I'll take a nap and enjoy the fresh air".

Piranha 3DD

This post is more of a rant than anything else, but it was something that I felt like writing about that goes along with what we've been reading this semester. While looking for a movie to watch today I stumbled upon a movie called Piranha 3DD. The two pictures  above are the poster covers for the movie. The first thing I would like to say about this is that my first impression when I saw this was to laugh, because I thought it was a joke. Since they came out with the movie Piranha 3D last year, I figured that they just made a fake movie poster with the 3DD that was making a sexual innuendo of the 3D version. Or that it was an actual movie but was rather, a parody of the rest of the piranha series. But I then discovered that this is an actual movie that came out a few weeks ago (it's not a parody) and that Piranha 3DD is the actual name and the pictures above are the actual covers. Wow. The second thing I would like to say is that when I discovered it was a real movie I was shocked that they would find it acceptable to name the movie this, as well as choose these as the covers. When you look at it it looks like it's going to be an adult movie (sexual rather than horror).  It reminded me of the beauty myth when I saw it, as the movie is about people getting eaten alive by piranhas yet they have found a way to sexualize that idea. This is around the 5th piranha movie that's been made (and there all exactly the same) and I couldn't believe that they actually decided to name it this. I do understand where they got the idea for the title, as the movie is a continuation of Piranha 3D, but I think the typical Piranha 3D 2 would have been just as sufficient. I don't know, it's just interesting to me that the movie business have started to use woman to sell their movies. It reminds me of the whole controversy that went on with Keira Knightly and the movie cover for King Arthur. Below is the picture of Keira on the movie poster. The first picture is the original photo and the second one is the photo shopped version. Keira is already very beautiful and many people love her, I'm pretty sure the movie would have sold just as well if they hadn't photo shopped her boobs to be bigger on the cover. Though, society and the media don't seem to think that I guess.

Man VS. Woman

Reading the article "Social Animal" by David Brooks I realized that there is such a difference between men and women culturally and genetically. Brook says, "For some reason, today's high status men do a lot of running and biking and so only really work on the muscles in the lower half of their bodies. High status women, on the other hand, pay ferocious attention to their torsos, biceps, and forearms so they can wear sleeveless dresses all summer and crush rocks with their bare hands. (2) I find it interesting that they are doing the complete opposite of each other. To be honest I would think it was the other way around. You would think men would be the one's working on their biceps and torsos so that appear strong and intimidating and woman would work more on their lower halves, especially because nice legs are so important to most woman. We all want our legs to look nice when were wearing shorts, or a skirt. Which most powerful woman seem to wear a lot, more than sleeveless shirts and dresses. Another thing that I would think to be the opposite of stated is the fact that "men fall in love faster and are more likely to believe that true love lasts forever" (7). As society has developed, and as I have grown up I have never heard much about the men being the ones to fall in love first or for them to believe in true love at all really. Society has made it for men to almost look down on true love and avoid it. In movies if a guy truly falls for a girl he gets made fun of by his friends rather than praised. Yet, when a girl truly falls for a guy and is in love her and her friends start jumping around and they go out to celebrate. It's weird that so many topics are generalized and the way we make them out to be is actually the opposite of what it truly is. 

Another difference stated in the article was when Brooks was talking about how men and women choose their mates. And the psychology behind it that we don't even realize. He says, "Woman everywhere tend to prefer men who have symmetrical features and are slightly older, taller, and stronger than they are" (5) and woman are "compelled to choose a man not only for insemination but for continued support" (6). Where as "Men could pick their mates based on fertility" and "he liked what he saw, from the waist-to-hip ratio to the clear skin, all indicative of health and fertility" (5) Men psychologically want a girl that appears healthy and fertile and woman psychologically want a man who is strong and supportive. And know matter how much one denies it, it is usually always the truth. It is something in our brain that we can't control, that's what psychology is. I find it interesting that these type of things are genetically planted into our brains. It also said in the article that a woman "rejected men who wore Burberry, because she couldn't see herself looking at the same patter on scarves and raincoats for the rest of her life" (6) and "She would have nothing to do with men who wore sports-related jewelery, because her boyfriend should not love Derek Jeter more than her.  (6)  This I do understand because it is something that we develop over time and realize for ourselves. You use your past experiences and knowledge to learn what you want and don't want. However, those are only the material things and we can only control that aspect. We can't control what first attracts us to someone, which never ceases to amaze me.

Happiness

I recently read an article called Social Animal by David Brooks, and it has a lot of very interesting concepts in it. One idea that was prevalent was happiness and how many people make their path of happiness unconsciously and use their past experiences. As David Brooks says, "Early experiences don't determine a life, but they set pathways, which can be changed or reinforced by later experiences" (pg 3). Experiences are the little things that help us go through the right "door". We try to use our experiences to make a path for ourselves that will make us happy, and will have us content with our life. This is all done within our subconscious and in our inner thoughts. "What the inner mind really wants is connection" and "daily activities most closely associated with happiness are social"(pg 5). Everyone wants to be happy and out mind and body make decisions for us without us even knowing or thinking about it. In a short scenario about a couple on their first date it says they "licked their lips, leaned forward in their chairs, glanced at each other out of the concerns of their eyes, and performed all the other tricks of unconscious choreography that people do while flirting" (pg 7). They were both showing signs of flirting and the fact that they liked each other, yet they didn't know it was happening. In the article it says "There was the hair flip: she raised her arms to adjust her hair and heaved her chest into view. She would have been appalled if she had seen herself in a mirror at that moment" (pg 7.) The fact that our body language tells a story without us even knowing is amazing. "When the tip of the eyebrow dips, that means the smile is genuine" (pg 5). There is no way to hide our feelings know matter how we try. Our body and mind know what makes us happy and will do anything to keep us following the right pathway. We can only ignore what our inner thoughts and body language say, but we can never deny the truth. We can only listen to our subconscious and embrace what we are being told. After all "the conscious mind chooses what we buy, but the unconscious mind chooses what we like" (pg 11.)

Insults

After finishing The Vagina Monologues and thinking about the book I realized that there are so many insults incorporated with girls. For example with the name "twat", so many people use that as an insult as well as the word "pussy". These are both nicknames for a vagina, yet they are both used as insults towards people. It's interesting how a part of the female anatomy can also be used as an insult toward someone and it's totally acceptable and normal. And the best part is if someone does call you a pussy or a twat it's a huge insult. Yet, if you called someone a vagina they would be like "what, what does that even mean?".  Yet in reality it's the same exact thing.
There are many different names that are insults that all have to do things with woman. Another example of a really common one is douche or "douchebag". I don't even know how this started to become something normal to call someone but technically a douche is a cleaning product for a girl. Yet when someone (usually a guy) is being rude or annoying he is called a douche and is said to be acting "douchey". The fact that you can actually describe someone as being a douche is just interesting to me.  Someone can say, "Yea, I used to like him but now he's a complete douchebag" and everyone will understand what they mean. It never ceases to amaze me how many of words incorporated with woman have become insults and well known ones.
You can also call someone and girl and have that be offensive. Obviously if you call a guy a girl he will get offended but the reasoning behind calling him a girl intrigues me. Someone would call a guy a girl if he jumps when he sees a spider run across the room, or if he

"My Vagina's Angry"

In the second reading for The Vagina Monolgues there was a chapter called " My Angry Vagina". The entire chapter is pretty much about all of the things women have to go through as they get older. Visits to the hospital, periods, and cleaning products. I liked this chapter because it made me laugh, and reminded me of some conversations I've had with both friends and my mom over the years. When we were younger we used to make fun of all these things.
My favorite line of the chapter is when she is talking about tampons and says, "You need to engage my vagina's trust. You can't do that with a dry wad of fucking cotton" (70). I remember when I was 9 my brother and I found a tampon and we took it out of the applicator and put it under running water. We were both shocked and confused on how it worked and how exactly girls were supposed to use them. I was terrified and told myself when I was old enough I would never use it because it was creepy. 
Then 7th grade happened and the whole calling people a "douche" became popular. Most people don't even know what a douche is they just know it's an insult to call someone. I asked my mom what a douche was and all she said was "it's something you use to clean yourself",  she couldn't have been more vague; I was more confused then I was before asking her. As I got older I realized what they actually were and what they were used for and I was confused. The entirety of the douche was just weird to me. Like she says in the book "Stop shoving and stop it up. My vagina doesn't need to be cleaned up" (70). We always learned in class not to use douches or other things like them because it was bad, and disrupted the bodies natural cleaning process. Yet, it's something that a lot of woman use and continue to use through out their lives.
Lastly, there's the doctors appointments. Uncomfortable and awkward are two words that come to my mind. Like she says, "Then there's those exams. Why the scary paper dress...Why the rubber gloves?...why the Nazi stirrups, the mean cold duck lips?" (71). They're just not fun. Every girl dreads the day she has to go to the doctor to get her "check-up". Although, it is something that we all have to do I find it interesting that there actually isn't anything they do to make a little bit easier. Like she says in the book "Why can't they find some nice, delicious purple velvet and wrap it around me, lay me down on some feathery cotton spread, put on some nice pink or blue gloves, and rest my feet in some fur-covered stirrups? Warm up the duck lips" (72). I mean, I don't think they should go over board and do all of the things that she says but some of it couldn't hurt.
There are some good points in this chapter and I liked it because I think most people can relate to a lot of the things that Ensler says and have similar views.